I’m not dead yet. Just been really busy. Always something to do in life. That’s kind one of my least favorite things about getting older, the sheer number of responsibilities that you have to take on. It’s not about doing hard work, I don’t mind that, what I really don’t like is the face-time. I feel like I spend half of my time just making appearances at functions or meetings just to be polite. Whatever happened to freedom. Why is everyone so sensitive? I guess my mind works in a uber-logical manner, I just look for efficiency. I don’t like doing things just to do them, I feel like everything needs a purpose. I’m tired of going to meetings where nothing ever gets accomplished, nothing is decided, everything is just talked about in some abstract, ‘I don’t want to make any decision’, kind of way and pushed off to the next overly long meeting. Personal responsibility, where have you gone?
I think a lot of my time and energy is really taken up by the fact that I work with some really inept people. Very nice, wonderful people. But oh my god can you not do anything without me babysitting you? Are you kidding me. I work for a large university, so part of the frustration stems from bureaucratic culture. Every decision goes through twelve people, things never change because no one wants to be personally responsible for anything. Then on top of that you have departmental infighting. Everyone has their own little fiefdom. Instead of trying to provide the best experience for the students, everyone reinvents the wheel to justify their positions.
I know this is never going to change, I know this problem is as old as time. It just frustrates me to work for a prestigious university and deal with such pettiness. I never cease to be amazed at just how inept people are. I don’t care if you’re brilliant at your position or if you can think outside the box, just be able to do your own job. Is that too much to ask? Sure it would be great if you could think without the rules, but just being able to do what you’re supposedly getting paid for would be awesome too. I think personal responsibility is really a forgotten art form. At least it is in any bureaucracy. Of course in most businesses employees are graded and held responsible, but unfortunately to false metrics. There are few places in the world where logic and statistics reign supreme. Where long-term consequences are judged alongside short-term profits. But that’s a diatribe for another time….